


Her First Love and His Last

by No_Fighting_In_The_War_Room



Series: Star-crossed Lovers [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Death, Depression, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 19:01:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 17,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Fighting_In_The_War_Room/pseuds/No_Fighting_In_The_War_Room
Summary: The moment your seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ended you began your travels around the world. You helped care for all sorts of magical creatures and you couldn't be happier. Until one day, an owl with a letter from an old friend arrived. You and your knowledge were requested back at your alma mater. So, what happens when you agree to return to a past you refuse to remember and the man you can't forget?





	1. Chapter 1: Does He Even Remember Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You couldn't be sure Severus would remember you after all these years, but someone definitely did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, how is everybody? This is a story I stated writing a month or so back on Tumblr. It's the first fanfiction I started and I'm glad to share it with all of you. Enjoy!

You never thought you'd be here again. In fact, you planned on never coming back. It wasn't because you disliked the place or your years here. It was simply because the world outside fascinated you more.

 

You were in Peru days earlier with Peruvian Vipertooth dragons attempting to collect some venom to study when an owl dropped a letter at your feet. The sloppy writing on the front told you it was Hagrid before you even read the name. He wanted you to come to Hogwarts and help with teaching his classes. It seems the students were unhappy with the selection of creatures presented in class. If anyone, even Albus Dumbledore, had asked you to return, you've never agreed. However, you always had a hard time telling the gentle giant no.

 

So here you were. Standing in the entrance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry once more. The only problem was he was here. Of course he would be. He was a professor. Severus Snape currently sat at the teachers' table in the Great Hall. You weren't ready to see him again. You didn't think you'd ever be ready. He was your first and only love and you still harboured that love to this day.

 

A sudden feeling of dread washed over you like cold water. What if he didn't remember you? You're heart ached at the thought of seeing the look in his eyes as he searched his memories for a name to go along with your face.

 

You were startled out of thought when a loud shriek filled your ears. A smile spread across your face when you looked up and saw a terror-stricken Peeves the Poltergeist looking back at you. “NASTY WITCH! HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE WOMAN! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO COME BACK?! CRUEL, VICIOUS MONSTER!” In a flash, Peeves sailed through the corridor to the Great Hall, shouting all the way. At least, Peeves remembered you.

 

All of a sudden, you found yourself in a fit of laughter. All feelings of dread washed away. With confidence in your step, you entered the school and headed for the Great Hall.

 

Upon entry, all eyes were on you. Peeves hadn't quieted down a bit and was still shouting loudly. “WRETCHED WENCH! GHASTLY GIRL!” Confusion spread along every face. They had no idea why Peeves disliked such an innocent-looking woman and they would never know so long as he was still here.

 

You scanned the faces of all the students before reaching the teacher's table. Your eyes couldn't help but land on Professor Severus Snape. He had the same black hair and piercing eyes, but the sneer on his face was different. You didn't know him to look so angry. Of course, you weren't sure you really knew him at all. If the unchanged look on his face was any indication of his remembrance of you, he had no inkling of who the woman that had caused such disruption was. Your heart shattered a bit. He truly didn't recall you.

 

And so began the story of a witch and a wizard whose fates were bound to each other.


	2. Chapter 2: First Days Never Go As Planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First impressions are important and you have a hard time making a good one.

You were making your way across the grounds to Hagrid’s place. The plan was to wait there with him for the morning class the two of you would be teaching. Gryffindors and Slytherins. This would be interesting to say the least. You were a bit anxious to teach. You'd never done anything like this before now. It certainly didn't help that your nerves hadn't recovered from last night.

 

The Great Hall remained silent and you weren't sure how to proceed. Luckily, you were saved when Dumbledore spoke up. “I would like to introduce to all of you our newest member of the Hogwarts’ staff. She's not a professor, however, she is Hagrid’s assistant and special guest for all Care of Magical Creatures classes. Ms. Y/N Y/L/N, we are happy to have you and we do hope you will enjoy your time back at Hogwarts. Please, have a seat.” Dumbledore took his wand out and waved it in the air. A chair appeared next to Hagrid at the teacher's table. You made your way to the chair while trying and failing to calm your nerves. So many people were staring and no one had spoken since Dumbledore's announcement of your newfound employment. You never were good in crowds, especially if you happened to be the center of attention. Things became even worse when your foot caught and you tripped. Laughter erupted throughout the Great Hall. Embarrassment clung to you as you made it to your seat. Even with Hagrid’s reassuring pat (unintentional whack) on the back, you refused to look up the entire dinner.

 

It had been a terrible first impression. You were still embarrassed about the whole thing, but you needed to focus. You made it to Hagrid's with a few minutes to spare. The moment you were in range, giant arms wrapped around you like a vise. Hagrid had smothered you in a bear hug so tight you sworn you could hear your ribs crack. “I've missed yeh. Yeh’ve been gone too long.” “I've missed you, too, Hagrid. I also miss breathing.” Hagrid released you quickly, muttering a “sorry.” You would have laughed if it didn't hurt so much. You looked up at him to say it was fine until you saw his face. Hagrid looked like he had something to say and didn't know how to say it. Whether it was lucky or unlucky, it would have to wait. The students were come.

 

It was easy to tell the Gryffindors from the Slytherins. Slytherins had a way of always looking like angry merpeople. Even your favorite Slytherin resembled one now. Ironically, Gryffindors reminded you of griffins. Quick to act in the face of danger.

 

Once the entire class stood in front of you and Hagrid, you were the one who spoke. “Can anyone tell me what an occamy is?” The question barely left your mouth when a hand shot up and a young girl started to answer. “An occamy is a plumed, two-legged, winged creature with a serpentine body, resembling a cross between a dragon and a bird. They hatch from eggs made of the purest silver and they're worth a fortune. The occamy is native to the Far East and India. It's also what's known as choranaptyxic, meaning it will grow or shrink to fit an available space.” You blinked. “That's correct.” Did she even breathe? You heard mutters of “know-it-all" come from the class. You didn't disagree. She seemed the type, but she knew the answer and that's all that mattered to you. “Are we going to see one?” asked a Gryffindor student. As if on cue, your sleeve began to to move. You heard gasps from the class as a beak and eyes poked out. The occamy slipped out of your sleeve and made its way up your arm to rest on your shoulder. You smiled, “Meet Blue. She's named for obvious reasons.” You seemed to capture the classes attention as you told them all about occamys.

 

Things were going well until a big, fat bug flew right in front of Blue’s face. Rotten lucky. Blue sprung from your shoulder after her next meal. You ran after her, praying she didn't grow. Your foot slipped on something wet and you landed with a SMACK! in a puddle of mud. A puddle that most definitely wasn't there before class started. You were covered in mud, listening to the students laughter and Hagrid's attempts to settle them down. Blue had clearly caught her bug because she plopped right on top of your head.

 

You knew a student had created the mud. What you didn't know was who. What the students didn't know was you traveled with more than one magical creature and he saw who the culprit was. Now, you're little thief was currently steal the wand out of the pocket of a Slytherin. Once you saw the hair, you realized who the boy was. Lucius Malfoy’s son, Draco. Why did it have to be him? You weren't a fan of his father and you had a feeling you wouldn't be his fan either.

 

You watched the Malfoy boy’s wand slip into the creature's pouch. This particular creature usually stole shiny things, but he detested those you were cruel to you and would take anything from them he could. Your niffler, Robin, was a very good friend. Unfortunately, you knew nothing good would come from Draco “losing" his wand. You had to return it no matter how funny his face would be when he noticed it gone.

 

“Give it back.” You demanded. “What's this nutter talking about? I didn't take anything!” Draco rather rudely exclaimed. “Not you, Draco. Him.” You pointed at Robin. “Give it back.” Suddenly, very annoyed sounding squeaks came from next to Draco. Everyone tried to catch a glimpse of what was making the noise. Robin came strolling out of the crowd, arguing with you the whole way. “Fine! You exclaimed, “Have it your way.” Taking out your wand, you spoke two words. “Wingardium Leviosa.” Robin rose up into the air, angrily thrashing the whole way. You grabbed a hold of him, flipped him upside down, and shook until the wand fell out.

 

Draco stomped forwarded and anatched up his wand. “My father will hear of this!” “Because all great wizards need their father to solve their problems for them.” A moment too late, you realized what you'd done. Your big mouth spoke without thinking. This was going to be trouble. If the amount of red spreading across Draco’s face didn't tell you that, the look on everyone else's face would. 

 

You were going to get fired on your first day. Looks like you'd be leaving sooner than you expected.


	3. Chapter 3: Who are Fred and George Weasley?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts is a place for magical mischief and it was unrealistic of you to expect you wouldn't be subject to it.

After angering the Malfoy boy that morning, you decided it was best to keep a low-profile for the rest of the day. You remained in your room until dinner and spent that time charming the wardrobe into a spacious place for Blue and Robin to stay for the remainder of your time at Hogwarts. Blue didn't mind; she enjoyed the space. Robin, however, was against the idea. He simply refused to live in a wardrobe. You tried everything and nothing worked. After all other options were exhausted, you had to break out your emergency niffler supplies - an extra shiny galleon. “If you go in there, you can have this.” He stared at you for what seemed like forever before taking the galleon from you and walking into the wardrobe. You really didn't want to do this, but it was necessary. Sighing heavily, you shut the door and left for dinner.

 

You took your time walking to the Great Hall, enjoying the mostly empty corridor. Before you knew it, you found yourself walking between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. Having made it to your seat without incident, you sighed with relief. So far so good.

 

As the rest of the students took their seats, food filled the plates. Everything looked especially delicious since charming the wardrobe had forced you to skip lunch. You started eating a steak and kidney pie; it was delightfully tasty and the crust was perfectly brown. You took a drink of pumpkin juice that held an odd taste when a peculiar thing started to happen. Your hands were turning a berry blue. It slowly spread up your arms towards the rest of your body. No one had yet to notice. You weren't sure what was happening or if it would stop any time soon. You got your answer in the form of your food spelling out words.

 

This prank is brought to you courtesy of Fred and George Weasley. Creators of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes.

 

It was a prank, of course. A little publicity for a couple of students’ prank business. You should've been angry, infuriated even. However, you weren't. The only thing you could think was, “Who are Fred and George Weasley?“ You hadn't realized you'd said it out loud until movement caught your eye. You looked up to see two boys with bright red hair, clearly twins, bowing to the other students at the Gryffindor table.

 

The moment they stood, everyone began to notice what was going on and laughter roared through the vast room. You wanted to disapparate out of the Great Hall. Anywhere would've been better than here: a volcano perhaps. You were just about to get up and leave when a cold, calm voice spoke out.

 

“Detention.”  
“It was a harmless prank!” Spoke both boys at once.  
“And ten points from Gryffindor for talking back to a teacher.”  
“What?!”  
“That's not fair!”  
“Ten points each.” Sneered Severus.

 

You saw the anger and frustration in the twins face before they sat back down. Your gaze wandered over to Severus. He had stood up for you. Hadn't he? No, he hated pranks. It was as simple as that. Although, the thought he had stood up for you never left your subconscious. You even thought you saw him look your way.

 

One trip to the hospital wing, a visit from Madam Pomfrey, amd a horrible smelling potion later, your skin was no longer blue. You had went to your quarters and now stood at the window, admiring how the moonlight danced on the lake’s surface. The view was beautiful. It was one of your favorite things about the school grounds. Everywhere you looked took your breath away, even the Forbidden Forest was enchanting. 

 

Tiredness creeped slowly into every part of your body. You hadn't realized how much energy the day had taken. After checking on Blue and Robin and changing into your nightgown, you laid down on your rather inviting bed. It took a few moments and some tossing and turning before you fell into a deep, peaceful sleep that lasted until morning.


	4. Chapter 4: Consequences Lurk Around Every Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco delivers on his threat.

When you woke up the next morning, a deep sense of dread sat like lead in your gut. You wanted to ignore it, but experience told you not to. You opened the wardrobe in fear that your occamy and niffler may have escaped, however, they lay sleeping soundly. Wondering why you would possible feel this way, you dawned your robes and started for the Great Hall for breakfast.

 

You expected something horrendous to happen with every step you took, but nothing did. Not went you had a pleasant conversation with Hagrid over bacon and eggs about which dragon would make the best pet: none of them. “Norbert was a Norwegian Ridgeback. Great dragon, that one. Wish yeh coulda see ‘im.” Hagrid always seemed sad when he spoke of the dragon he had to give up. You smiled and nodded along to Hagrid's tales of Norbert. It was better to stay quiet while he reminisced. 

 

Not when your Care of Magical Creatures students learned how to properly groom an Aethonan, though Malfoy and the trolls who follow him around everywhere had satisfying smirks on their faces whenever you glanced their way. You kept a vigilant eye on each student. If a rescue was necessary, you were to grab the student and Hagrid was to grab the Aethonan. Unfortunately, it was necessary when poor Neville Longbottom pulled too hard on a knotted mane and narrowly got bit. He was quite jumpy after that which Malfoy and his goons took advantage of often.

 

And not when Peeves the Poltergeist saw you walking down the corridor and took off shouting, “STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU NUTTER!!!” A few students stood confused by the outburst. You could heard mutters of “What was that about?” and “Why is he so freaked out by her?” You almost answered when you saw the head of none other than Peeves sticking out of the wall a short ways away. You gave a smile to the students then Peeves who vanished with a yelp before continuing down the corridor. 

 

By lunchtime, you resigned to the fact that your feeling of dread was probably a result of stress. Having had enough of crowds, you enjoyed your lunch outside by the lake. A gentle breeze swept through your hair; it was refreshing. You loved a light breeze on sunny days like this. The outdoors always cleared your mind and allowed you to mull over things that bothered you. You started your lunch with roasted potatoes and some kind of casserole. By the time you got to the last morsel of treacle tart, you had made a decision. You were going to talk to Severus. He should be back at his office by now. And with that, you set off.

 

At the same time you had re-entered Hogwarts, Lucius and Draco Malfoy were searching the corridors for you after finding your quarters empty. It was simply rotten lucky that they found you in the exact corridor that housed none other than the Potions Master’s office. The sense of dread that had been plaguing you all day seemed to get worse without an explanation until you heard the footsteps. You glanced over your shoulder and felt your stomach drop. You turned to face the consequences your big mouth brought upon you.

 

“That's her, father. That's the horrible assistant of Hagrid’s." Jeered Draco. Lucius seemed to be assessing you before he spoke, “Miss Y/L/N, I presume?” You suspected he knew who you were. However, if that was the case, he certainly wasn't giving it away. “Yes, that's me. Can I help you?” You spoke with a face you hoped portrayed ignorance. He clearly wasn't buying it because he respond, “You can help by showing us where that dreadful creature who stole my son’s wand is.” You frowned. “I handled that. Your son got his wand back. No harm done.” That seemed to hit a nerve. Lucius did nothing to hide his anger or keep his voice down. “No harm done?! You're abomination stole from my son and you think there's no harm done?! Do you wish to prompt stealing on school grounds?!” “Well, of course not, but-" “Then fetch that creature so it can be removed from Hogwarts.”

 

That was the last straw. You felt your blood boil. Nothing made you angrier than someone who thought they knew your magical creatures better than you. “Now listen here-" You started to say when the sound of a door opening and closing caught your attention. The three of you turned in time to see Severus Snape exiting his office and coming towards you. His slick hair flowing behind him with the force of the wind created by his marching ever closer.

 

“Some of us are trying to work. Though, it's quite difficult with others making unnecessary amounts of noise.” Severus' presence had calmed you down until you heard Lucius speak again. “This insufferable woman is trying to prevent the remove of her thieving beast from school grounds.” You went from one to one hundred after that. “I told you I handled it! It's not going to happen again! I know how to handle magical creatures! It's my job!” Lucius smirked. “Clearly you're wrong. Besides, how can we believe you? You're the thing’s owner. You'd obviously lie to protect it.” You were going ballistic inside. It felt like your blood could melt metal. You were about to say something you knew you would regret when five little words stopped you.

 

“I can vouch for her.”


	5. Chapter 5: He Remembers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your worries are set aside, but will they be replaced with new ones?

“What did you say?” Asked Lucius who now looked quite cross.  
With an unwavering gaze and a voice of ice, Severus spoke again, “I said I would vouch for her.”  
“Why?”  
“When I was a student here at Hogwarts, Miss Y/L/N was as well, though not the same year. The only thing she excelled in was classes about magical creatures. I trust her judgement.”

 

Lucius looked speechless; you felt the same. You couldn't be sure if anyone was still talking since you were still stuck on what Severus has said. He admitted to knowing you or at least knowing of you. It felt like you were positively beaming.

 

“Have it your way, Severus. Come, Draco.” Lucius herded his son back the way they came. You watched as they left, making sure they were gone before speaking, “Severus, do you really-" When you turned around, a black robe swept into a room located down the corridor and you heard the loud bang of a shutting door. You took tentative steps toward the office door Severus disappeared behind. Once in front of the door, you placed your hand on the knob and paused. Could he have been lying? It was possible. No, he remembered you, didn't he? Though, he could've simply said that in hopes you wouldn't correct him. Except that made no sense, he had no reason to protect you or your creatures. This would require some thinking.

 

You released the knob and started the long walk to your quarters. The plan was to take Blue and Robin outside for some air and exercise while you mulled over everything that happened. Everything had become very complicated since your return to Hogwarts.

 

Little did you know, Severus was waiting on the other side of the door in hopes you'd enter. He heard your steps in the corridor. The slight jiggle of the door knob when you placed your hand on it, then nothing. A long silence followed before the door knob jiggled again and the sound of steps retreating echoed his heartbeat. He sighed a deep and long sigh before returning to his potion work. He knew better than to hope.

 

You laid on the grass, watching Blue soar through the air. Robin decided to curl up on your chest and nap. His quiet snores soothed you and your tangled thoughts. You had been racking your brain for an answer. Anything that told you if Severus felt a drop of what you did. You were as clueless as before. The only difference was your brain now felt fried. You sat up quickly, sending Robin sailing on to the grass which produced an angry look directed at you. Did Severus insult you?

 

After several hours laying on the grass playing with Blue, and keeping Robin from scampering off, you brought the two back to the wardrobe in your quarters. Once again, Robin had to be bribed. The clock told you dinner would be served soon and you felt the urge to skip it. You weren't sure if you were ready to see Severus just yet. Your stomach wasn't willing to starve and it made sure you knew that when it rumbled loud enough to sound like a growling werewolf. You'd just have to go to the kitchen directly.

 

It took awhile to get to the fruit bowl painting. You were busy making sure no one spotted you and questioned why you were sneaking around the castle. After you tickled the pear and walked into the kitchen, you were bombarded with food. So many pies, potatoes, casseroles, and puddings of all kind were presented to you. The delicious smells alone made your mouth water. In the end, you only took enough to satisfy you, said your thanks and goodbyes before heading back to your quarters. 

 

Once you finally made it back, you started in on your dinner, slipping the occasion piece into the wardrobe. You finished eating when the effects of the day settled into your body. It seemed it was time for bed. It didn't take very long to change into your nightgown and slip under the covers. However, falling asleep was a different story. Your tired body was no match for your restless mind. Once you finally managed to fall asleep, you found it to be a fitful kind of slumber. One that would leave you far more tired in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6: Your Presence is Requested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ministry of Magic sends you a letter you wish had never arrived.

You woke up feeling like the night Robin kept you up running rampant in a hut you once stayed in while helping a village with their werewolf problem. Adolescent werewolves are extra aggressive and Robin jumped at every little sound thinking they were coming to eat him. Needless to say, you were barely functioning. You did manage to get dressed and care for your sleepy, little friends. From the smell of the wardrobe, it would need cleaning and its residents would need a bath.

 

You tried stifling your yawns as you made your way to the Great Hall for breakfast. Either the walk always took this long or you were exceptionally slow; it was most likely the latter. By the time you sat down, the owl post had arrived. Normally, you would've watched the owls, captivated by their elegance, but the only time you could focus on was the food on your plate. You were just about to take a bite of a piece of toast that looked absolutely heavenly when an owl dropped a letter in front of you and stole your toast straight out of your hand. “Just help yourself,” you grumbled, picking up the letter. By the time you opened the letter, the owl had taken off. When you saw what was written, your mood plummeted.

 

_Dear Miss Y/N Y/L/N,_

_The Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures requests your presence at the execution of the Manticore known as Emerson. Your expertise is required in handling the creature before and during the execution to ensure the safety of Committee members present. Please be ready by this coming Saturday morning. There will be someone to collect you and bring you to the location of the execution._

 

This was the last thing you needed. You thought you wouldn't get these kinds of letters while at Hogwarts, but that didn't seem to be the case. Divination never was your strong suit. You hated the sight of these letters, in fact, you detested them. You would never understand why they made you watch magical creatures lose their lives when you dedicated your efforts to save them. It was surprising that the creature was a Manticore. It wasn't unusual for them to get off considering how many witches and wizards were afraid of them.

 

Hagrid must have seen the letter because you heard him say, “ What's the Committee fer the Disposal o' Dangerous Creatures wan’ with yeh?” You didn't answer. Instead, you slipped the letter in your robes and left the table. In your haste, you didn't notice the Potions Master watching you leave. Once out of the Great Hall, you dashed through the corridors until you were outside. The feeling of being sick washed over you, but the cool air combatted it slowly.

 

You lost track of how long you were outside, bent over and breathing deeply. As soon as you felt better, you made your way back to your quarters. You barely made it back inside when Minerva McGonagall approached you. “Miss Y/N, do you by chance have any bursting mushrooms?” Bursting mushrooms? “I should have some. Are the students making fire protection potions?” You asked. Minerva responded with relief, “Indeed, they are. Unfortunately, Professor Snape has run out of bursting mushrooms and suggested that you may have some in your possession. He said you possessed some skill in procuring this ingredient and kept some handy in case of situations such as this.” You smiled, “He is correct. I'll have to get them from my bag in my quarters.” “Please do that and bring them to Professor Snape immediately. His next class will start soon.” Minerva replied before walking briskly away.

 

It took you longer than expected to locate the bursting mushrooms; you had to sort through all your ingredients to find it. A rustle in the wardrobe caught your attention. You opened the door to see Blue chasing a beetle around. The sight brought a smile to your face. After shutting the door and exiting your quarters, you set off for the Potions classroom. 

 

By the time you stood outside your destination, class was already going on. You hesitated to interrupt. Severus hated being interrupted, but he'd hate it even more if you didn't show up at all. You placed your hand on the door handle, turned it, and opened the door.


	7. Chapter 7: Bitterness and Old Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A love potion, a snarky teacher, and your big mouth.

The moment you stepped into the room a familiar smell hit you. It wasn't unusual for the Potions classroom to smell like the potions being brewed, but this time was different. You couldn't quite figured out why. “Miss Y/L/N, so nice of you to join us. Did you have to gather the bursting mushrooms from the Forbidden Forest before you came here?” came the voice of Severus. “Oh, no. It just simply took me longer to find them than I thought it would,” you replied with a slight smile. “That wouldn't be a problem if you were more organized.” He countered.

 

If you hadn't been distracted by the scent you had smelled when you walked into the room, you would have replied to his snide comment. Then it hit you, you know what the smell was. “Why does it smell like bitterness and old shoes in here?” You had a nasty habit of saying things out loud that you never meant to, so you were only slightly shocked when it happened. You knew this was the case when you heard murmurs of “Old shoes?” and “What does bitterness smell like?” floating around you.

 

“While you were taking an extraordinarily long time gathering the bursting mushrooms, Miss Abbott decided to brew a love potion in her boredom. The girl-in-question’s face was bright red from all the attention she was getting. You felt bad for her. It wasn't very smart to brew a love potion in class, though.  “Who would smell like that? Whispered a student somewhere in the back. That was when you realized your blunder. Would he?

 

The students around you started talking at once. They were telling you how Professor Snape wouldn't tell them what the potion smelled like to him and how he refused to even address the question. Severus looked entirely displeased by the direction this discussion was taking, but he remained silent, deciding instead to watch how it played out. His gaze resting solely on you and your reactions.

 

A student near you tugged on your robes to get your attention. When you turned towards who it was, a young Hufflepuff boy spoke, “You weren't in Care of Magical Creatures class today, Miss. Why weren't you in class?” You smiled and replied, “I had some urgent business to attend to and simply couldn't make it. I apologize, but I'm sure you had fun in class with Hagrid.”

 

“If you are done distracting my class, could you please make your exit now?” It looked as if that please pained him. “Yes, of course.” You turn to leave when you were stopped by an irritated voice. “Will you be handing over the bursting mushrooms or did you simply bring them here to show us that you have them?” You looked in your hand to notice that you still had the bag. Your face burned with embarrassment as you turned around to hand the ingredients over to Severus. He took the bag as you spoke, “My mistake. Here you go.” Severus' face remained neutral as he spoken, but you could have swore there was a glint in his eyes. “It's about time. Now, you should be on your way and do try to actually show up to teach your classes. You aren't here to waste your time and ours.”

 

You could feel your face hot with embarrassment as you exited the classroom, but what you saw in the corridor felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured on you. Walking in the direction you were about to head, with her back turned to you, was a woman entirely dressed in pink. A woman that you wished to never see again.

 

Dolores Umbridge.


	8. Chapter 8: Petty in Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dolores Umbridge is a terrible person.

You haven't seen Dolores Umbridge since that day in the Ministry. Seeing her now brought back memories you'd rather not remember. You had been there to turn in a report that you had finished regarding the execution you were forced to attend. The Ministry made you write reports. It had something to do with making sure they had accurate information from a reliable source, but that was most likely a lie. It was easy to see you were being forced to do this because of the incident. This had been the first execution you'd gone to and it had left you shaken.

 

Dolores Umbridge, a woman wearing far too much pink, approached you. “Are you looking for someone?” She seemed to want to help, but you had a gut feeling not to trust her, one that would pan out as the conversation continued. You politely replied, “Yes, but I know where I'm going. Thank you, though.” Your answer made her hesitant, but only for a moment. “Miss Y/L/N, isn't it? You're the one overseeing dangerous creature executions.” “Yes, I am,” you said through a tight smile. You knew where this was going. Dolores gave you a big smile and responded, “After the incident you were involved in, this couldn't have come as a surprise. Anyway, those creatures deserve what they get.” She turned and walked away before you had a chance to speak. Hot, angry tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. That execution was of a dragon you had been caring for. He had gotten loose and burned down a Muggle home. They deemed him too dangerous to handle after that and sentenced him to death.

 

After that moment, you decided you'd never like Dolores Umbridge. Your decision held strong to this day. As you watched her walk down the corridor, you made a rash decision. You started following her. You needed to see where she was going and why she was here. She seemed to walk forever until finally coming to a stop at a door. You waited for her to enter before proceeding. This was the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. That's when it hit you. The bubble you'd been in since arriving at Hogwarts burst right there. You'd been so distracted by teaching and Severus that you had noticed little else. Dolores Umbridge was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Now the letter made sense. She got the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures to request your services once again.

 

You were too furious to stand there any longer, so you took off as quick as you could towards your quarters. You were going to tear that letter to shreds the second you got there. Or so you thought. The moment you shut your door and reached into your robes, you discovered something. The letter wasn't there; it was gone. You searched everywhere, even going so far as to search the corridor you had just travelled down. Nothing. You must have lost it earlier today. Perhaps when you ran from the castle. It didn't matter that you didn't have it; you didn't need it. Hopefully Filch or a teacher picked it up. You'd hate for a student to have to read that awful letter.

 

The rest of the day was a blur. Dinner came and went. The only notable moment was the satisfied look on Dolores’ face. You would've loved to wipe that look off her face. However, you resigned yourself to bed before you ended up doing something regrettable. It was just when you were about to lay down that you heard a soft tapping on your window. You walked over and opened the window. An owl flew in, dropped a letter on your bed, and flew out. Closing the window, you went over to the letter and picked it up. Who could possibly been sending letters this late?

 

_Dear Miss Y/L/N,_

_The Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures would like to inform you that your services will no longer be required at the execution this coming Saturday. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Have a nice evening. ___

__

__You didn't understand what just happened. Maybe the execution was off, but they hadn't said that. Why had they changed their minds? This question stayed with you throughout the entire night and well into the morning. It lingered in your mind during breakfast and all through class. It only left your thoughts when you became distracted by some students being harassed by none other than Peeves the Poltergeist._ _


	9. Chapter 9: Silly Little Peeves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of why Peeves hates you.

You were walking down the corridor on your way to the Astronomy Tower. It was quite peacefully empty and you often used it for time alone. Something you did as a students as well. You had turned a corner when a familiar scene came into view. Peeves the Poltergeist was bothering a couple first-years who had gotten lost. He was floating their bags high above them, far out of reach. He clearly hadn't changed. 

 

“Bugger off, Peeves,” you called out, “Don't make me embarrass you again.” Peeves whipped around at the sound of your voice. He scrunched up his face as if your mere presence was unpleasant. “You're bluffing! You wouldn't dare try anything, you hag!” Exclaimed Peeves. He seemed so sure of himself like he knew something: a secret of sorts. Too bad for him, you weren't one to bluff. You began to sing.

 

_Oh silly little Peeves_  
Would you like to hear his scream  
He scared of smoke he's such a joke  
Oh silly little Peeves __

__

__“NOOO!!!” Screamed Peeves. Next thing you knew, the students’ bags dropped to the ground and Peeves flew straight through the nearest wall and vanished. You gave a satisfied grin and continued on you way until one of the students’ voices stopped you. “What was that about? Why did he leave us alone?” You turned around and stared at the student who spoke: a young Ravenclaw girl. You had half a mind to tell them until you saw a peculiar thing down the corridor. Peeves had his head poking through the wall while he waited for you to respond. You assumed he was preparing to intervene if necessary. A moment of thought later, you gave Peeves a mischievous smile which prompted a shriek of terror and the complete disappearance of Peeves the Poltergeist from the corridor. Next, you have a gentle smile to the students and proceeded to continue on your way to the Astronomy Tower._ _

__

__Unbeknownst to you, the story of what happened in that corridor spread like wildfire and so did the song. Everywhere Peeves went that song followed. Students would sing it upon seeing him._ _

__

__The only thing that could make it worse was a particular groundskeeper with loose lips. It was an accident. Hagrid didn't mean to tell anyone; it just happened. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had visited him and spoke of what was going on in the castle. The look on Hagrid's face gave away the fact he knew something. The trio questioned him until he let it spill. “Yeh got teh understand that ghost wasn't nice teh anyone. Awfully mean tha one. She on’y wan’ed teh spook ‘im. Did this odd bit o’ magic with smoke. Woulda scared ‘im teh dead if he hadn' bin dead already.”_ _

__

__And so, Hagrid told them the whole story: how you controlled a smoke figure to chase Peeves throughout the castle, how it chased him all the way to the Bloody Baron, and how James Potter and his friends made up a song to torture Peeves with. It had been the worst day of Peeves afterlife until now._ _

__

__Harry, Ron, and Hermione promised not to say anything about this, but Ron it slip to the twins, who let it slip to the entire school. It even ended up in a copy of the Daily Prophet. This is when you realized what had happened. Peeves now believed that this was the worst day of his afterlife._ _

__

__It was your worst nightmare as well. Students wanted you to sign their newspapers. They asked for details and followed you everywhere. You had become famous and you hated it. No one left you alone. Any chance at peace and quiet was dashed. You were drowning in attention. Even Blue and Robin were uneasy with all the frustrated feelings pouring off you._ _

__

__You had noticed that everyone had one thing wrong: why you did it. Hagrid didn't know the real reason, so no one else did. They assumed it was to give Peeves a taste of this own medicine which wasn't wrong, just not the whole story. You did it for Severus. Nearly everything you did was for him. James Potter and his gang had been giving him a particularly hard time one day and Hogwarts’ most annoying ghost wasn't making it any better. You decided then and there you were going to do something about it._ _

__

__It's true your specialty was magical creatures, but there were a few tricks up your sleeves. You had a knack for making smoke creatures. They weren't harmful unless they contained poison, otherwise, they were more for distraction purposes. This is what you used to prank Peeves._ _

__

__You waited until he was alone; it took longer than you thought. Once Peeves was finally alone, you cast the spell. Smoke poured out of your wand, taking the shape of the Bloody Baron. You sent the fake Bloody Baron out into the corridor. “PEEVES!” You shouted in your best impression of the Baron. Terror fell upon Peeves’ face before he took off flying down the corridor. You had to run to keep up with him, stifling laughter all the way. You had just rounded the fourth corner went you saw Peeves swatting at your smoke Baron. He had figured it out. He spotted you and you took off, hoping to get away before he could catch you. It was by sheer luck that a ghost with silver blood on his clothes flew through the part of the wall you'd just ran past. Peeves believed it to be another trick, refusing to stop. The real Bloody Baron was enraged when Peeves flew through him and responded by shouting angrily while giving chase. Realizing his mistake, Peeves took off once again, flying away from a menacing looking Bloody Baron._ _

__

__This was your chance to run. You ran through the castle and didn't stop until you were safely laying on your bed in your House dormitory. A couple seconds went by while you caught your breath when you burst out in laughter, completely uncontrollable laughter. You couldn't believe you got away unscathed._ _


	10. Chapter 10: Don't Believe Everything You Read Unless It's True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Witch Weekly writes an article about you and your feelings for the Potions Master.

It wasn't until the next day you noticed all the students had changed their demeanor towards you. They started looking at you with confusion and something that looked like repulsion. It had everything to do with the magazine in their hands. You would soon find out why.

 

You were rushing around the castle, looking for anything to do. It was the day of the first Quidditch match of the season and you were hoping not to go. You didn't dislike Quidditch; you rather enjoyed it. It all came down to who played it during your years at Hogwarts. Avoiding watching James Potter play had started a pattern of avoiding all Quidditch matches. This one was no different.

 

While speeding down a corridor, you were stopped by the sound of snickering. You turned to see Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle pointing at a magazine in Draco’s hand, then pointing at you and laughing. “What?” You barked. It was hard to keep your composure around Slytherin students. Draco sneered at you and thrust the magazine in your direction. “Have a look for yourself.” You took the magazine out of his hand and noticed it was an article from the latest issue of Witch Weekly. The article was called Romance Blooming in Hogwarts?

 

_Newly famous Y/N Y/L/N is keeping more secrets than just past pranks. A reliable source at Hogwarts revealed that our famous prankster not-so-secretly fancies Hogwarts’ own Potions Master, Severus Snape. We had a chat with a few students to gather more information about what could be a budding new romance. There were mixed feelings on the subject._

_Draco Malfoy had this to say, “Professor Snape is probably concerned about what she'll do if he says no to her. She'd most likely send her wretched beasts after him like she did me. That disgusting thing stole my wand!”_

_Pansy Parkinson had strong negative feelings on the subject as well. “That woman isn't even a teacher and she's definitely not good enough for Professor Snape. He should just tell her it's not going to happen.”_

_We attempted to get comments from Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, but they appeared busy eating a large quantity of sweets._

_There are those on the other side of this who feel differently such as Hermione Granger. Miss Granger had a very strong opinion on the matter. “It's no one's business who she does or doesn't fancy. Is this really the most interesting story you have? There are more important things going on, like O.W.L.s. and classes. I mean, honestly.”_

_Miss Y/L/N could not be found for an interview.  Professor Snape refused to agree to an interview and proceeded to threaten this reporter with hexes if not left alone._

_Is the newest Hogwarts’ celebrity a witch who sics magical creatures on students? Is there any romance blossoming between the gamekeeper’s assistant and the Potion Master? Is anyone good at hex removal? Stay tuned to find out! ___

__

__You stared at the article for some time after finishing it. You were properly stunned by this. The group of Slytherins were snickering at your face. “Good read, don't you think?” Draco mocked. If you had the time to deal with this lot, you certainly would have. Unfortunately, the Quidditch players were making their way to the locker room and it was the perfect chance to make yourself scarce. Before that, you made a quick decision._ _

__

___“Ten points from Slytherin.”_  
“What?!”  
“That's not fair!”  
“You have no right!”  
“Ten points for each snide comment and Slytherin students’ name. For those of you too dim to figure that out, it's sixty points.” You finished triumphantly.  “You can't do that! You're not a teacher!” Pansy shouted. You leaned in close and spoke smugly, “Doesn't matter. I can still give or take points as I see fit.” You turned abruptly and left. 

__

__If it hadn't been for Draco and his ghoulish friends or the commotion of the Quidditch match and its players rushing about, you might have noticed the flaming, red hair peeking around every corner._ _


	11. Chapter 11: My Stalkers are Twins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins trick you into going to the Quidditch match where you discover something haunting.

The library was deserted. It seemed even Madam Pince couldn't resist a Quidditch match. The library wouldn't be empty forever. It's true Quidditch matches could take days to finish, but you heard Harry Potter was an excellent seeker and figured your time would be short. You could be doing more productive things than reading in the library like finding the source of the smell coming from wardrobe in your quarters. You were sure Robin had hid something in there and it was rotting. With Robin and Blue at Hagrid's, it was the perfect chance to find it, but the peace and quiet of the library was too alluring. The very calm seeped into your bones and soothed all the stress away.

 

The thing you didn't know was you were not alone in the library. This became evident when the thud of a book hitting the floor startled you. All you could think was how you couldn't catch a break these days. With a soft sigh, you went to find the source of the noise which now included hushed voices and scuffling feet.

 

You weren't sure what to expect, but it was not Fred and George Weasley. The twins stared at you like a niffler caught in the act of stealing. The way you saw it, you had two options: question the twins about why they were here or return to reading Manticore: The Complete History. You chose the latter. You promptly turned around and walked back to the chair you had been sitting in. It was only a few moments later when you noticed the pair of redheads standing a few feet from you.  
“Why are you following me?” You asked with a huff.  
“You pranked Peeves.” George responded as if this answered your question. After seeing your look of confusion, Fred elaborated, “No one's ever pranked Peeves. That makes you a prankster legend and we were hoping to learn from you. That's why we've been following you; we were hoping to learn something.”  
“Pulling one prank doesn't make me a legend. I don't even like pranks. So, there you have it. Nothing to learn.” You hoped there was resolution in your voice and the conversation would be over, but you never were so lucky.  
“Are you going to the Quidditch match?” Fred questioned.   
“No. I had planned to skip it.” You replied dully.  
“You can't skip the first match of the season! You have to watch us beat Slytherin!” George shouted. Somewhere the librarian had to be cringing.  
“I'm sorry, but I'm just not… Wait a second. Watch you? You're playing in the match?!”  
“...yes..”  
“It's already started by now! Why aren't you there?!”  
“We wanted you to come-”  
“And watch us play, so-”  
“You could see how good we are-”  
“And we aren't leaving unless-”  
“You come with us to the match, so-”  
“Will you?” They both finished. 

 

You could stay here and yell at them like you wanted, but Gryffindor would have to forfeit if you didn't get them to the field soon. “Don't just stand there. We'll have to run for it.” You said as you took off without another word. You could hear their footsteps behind you as all three of you booked it to the field. Along the way, you saw Gryffindor Quidditch players in the corridors. The moment they saw you, they joined your own growing group in a mad dash to the Quidditch field. It turns out the team had gone off in search of the missing twins and each teammate was both relieved and furious when they came across you and the twins in the corridors. By the time you reached the field, you had the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team, except Harry Potter, who was standing in the middle of the field with Madam Hooch trying to stall for time.

 

You watched the twins take off for the locker room to change while the rest of the team joined Harry on the field. This was your last chance to leave before you were noticed or it was until Hermione Granger started waving at you from the stands. Your clean getaway was long gone.

 

You reluctantly climbed the stands to the empty seat next to Hermione as the match started. “I didn't think you were going to make it.” Hermione said. You muttered back, “I didn't think so, either.”

 

It didn't take long before you started enjoying yourself. This may have been because of the twins. Every time they flew past they would wave. They were also showing off as much as possible. This lead to them profusely apologizing when a bludger nearly took your head off and that lead to the twins pelleting both bludgers at Draco Malfoy who laughed at your near decapitation. 

 

When Harry Potter caught the snitch and ended the game, Gryffindor was ahead by a mere five points. Everyone, except Slytherin House, roared with applause. You could see the team scold Fred and George between claps on the back. You were heading down the stand to congratulate the Gryffindor team when you saw it. Fred had taken off his gloves and revealed a wound on his hand. Once you noticed this, you couldn't stop noticing. Other students had similar wounds on their hands. It was words etched into the flesh of the back of their hand. It looked like a quill had carved the words. It dawned on you; it had been a quill and you knew who had done this. You made a split second decision and tore out of there in a fury. You knew just what to do, but you needed your potions bag in your quarters to do it. 

 

You stayed in your quarters long after dinner had started. When you finally left, you made your way to the Great Hall and straight towards the Gryffindor table where the twins sat. You pulled a jar out of your robes and opened the lid. Dipping your fingers into the jar, you took a generous amount of a cream colored paste. “Hold out your hand.” The twins looked at each other then you, but didn't move. You held your hand out and waited. There was a long pause before Fred and George stuck out their wounded hands. You applied the paste to one hand then the other. After you were satisfied with this, you took bandages out of your robes and began to wrap their hands. As you put the lid back on the jar, you spoke, “The whole point of that disgusting punishment is for the scar to remind you of what you did. This salve prevents scarring while healing the wound.” You slid the jar towards them and continued, “There's enough in there for you and anyone else who might need it. If you run out, let me know and I'll make more.” You started to walk away when you heard “thank you” come from behind you. You turned your head, gave a smile and a nod, and continued your walk to the teachers' table. 

 

This was the first time since returning to Hogwarts that you didn't spare a single glance at the man you loved. Your gaze was locked solely on Dolores Umbridge. You wanted her to see the fire in your eyes as you walked by. She needed to know you wouldn't back down. The look on her face told you this wasn't close to being over.


	12. Chapter 12: You Never Forget Your First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally have your talk with Severus and it doesn't go as planned.

You spent the rest of the weekend making anti-scar salve for students. The amount of wounded hands increased after your show of defiance against Umbridge; it was her payback. When Monday finally came, you had run out of ingredients and patience. This didn't mean you were done, though. You were determined to persevere through anything this school and that woman could throw at you. Until you remember something unpleasant. 

 

With the drama of the twins and your own special brand of standing up to that wretched toad, you had forgotten to do one thing: talk to Severus. You didn't want to do it in the first place, but now you dreaded it. However, you had to get it done sooner rather than later or it would be far worse than it was now. He would be in class now, but a glance at the time told you it would be over soon and that would be the perfect time to talk to him. He wouldn't be able to avoid you if he tried and you would be forced to actually have the conversation. You started your walk towards the classroom in what felt like the beginning of your journey to Hell.

 

On your way there, you thought about the plan. It was a simple one. You were simply going to explain how you knew nothing of the article in advance, how it upset you just as much as him (maybe not as much as him), and apologize. You knew you didn't have anything to apologize for it, but it certainly couldn't harm your chances in getting back into his good graces after this. That was the plan, however, it is not how it went in the slightest.

 

You waited outside the Potions classroom as the bell rang and students began to file out. You were greeted with a mixture of looks. The Slytherins scowled at you for taking points from their House. The Gryffindor girls giggled at you and the boys looked perplexed by your choice in men. You were just as confused as them.

 

Once all the students had left, you entered to find Severus at his desk, his back to you. “Severus, do you have a moment?” Severus placed some parchment in his desk and turned around at the sound of your voice. “Miss Y/L/N, you've made us quite famous.” He spoke with a slight scowl on his face. You didn't enjoy the tone he was using and decided to make that known. “I wasn't the one whose name was accompanied by ludicrous comments. That was your House’s students.” His gaze was unwavering as he spoke, “Yes, you've already seen fit to punish them for it.” “Well, someone had to to do,” you huffed. You couldn't tell if it was anger or amusement in his face. “And what's that supposed to mean?” Was he actually enjoying this? You spoke with slight irritation in your voice, “Oh, come on. Everyone knows you never take points from your own House. I never would've taken you for one to play favorites.” That seemed to strike a chord because he responded, “Everyone plays favorites with him. He's the one you should be nagging, not me.”

 

He? James? No... Harry? “Oh, come off it. We both know that's not why you dislike the boy, Severus. Is it because he’s like his father? Or because he has her eyes? All this time and you're still pining after her. She didn't choose you, Severus, move on. Honestly, you're being quite childish.”

 

He moved in a way that made you feel like prey being stalked. In an instance, his face was mere inches away from you, seething mad. You knew this was serious, but you couldn't get passed how close he was to you. If you moved a few inches forward, your lips would touch. Then he spoke, “I guess that makes two of us." And with that, he took off out of the room. He was gone in a flash. You could hear him in the corridor shouting, “GET TO CLASS, POTTER!”  
What had you done?  
“Are you ok?”  
You looked up at the source of the voice. “Yes, Harry. I'm alright.” You hadn't realized you were leaning against a desk until you straightened up.  
“Sorry about Professor Snape. He's been in a foul mood since the article.”  
Had he? “Yes, well… it's complicated.”  
Something in your face must of given you away because Harry’s held a look of realization. “It's true. You do fancy him. I can't imagine why,” snided Harry. “But I thought he fancied someone else.”  
You narrowed your eyes at him. “How much did you hear exactly?”  
“Just you saying he's still in love with someone, I swear. Who is she?”  
You weren't going to tell him it was Lily. What you did say was, “A girl from his time here as a student. He loved her, but she chose someone else. He never really got over it.”  
“He should,” Harry said. “She didn't love him back."  
“There's something you need to understand, Harry. Your first love is something you never forget and sometimes it's something you never get over.” You weren't sure who you were talking about in that moment. You weren't even sure you still belonged.

 

Out of all the ghosts in Hogwarts, you never expected Lily Potter to be one causing you the most trouble.


	13. Chapter 13: Even a Broken Clock Is Right Twice a Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A daunting prophecy and a terrifying dream tell of things to come.

After your fight with Severus, you were feeling a bit lost. It might've been a better idea to go to Hagrid's hut and talk with him, but you always went to a Seer when you felt unsure of yourself. This is precisely why you found yourself heading towards the Divination classroom. Professor Sybill Trelawney wasn't known for giving authentic readings, but she was the best you had at the moment. It didn't seem practical to travel outside school grounds just so you could apparate to a mountain village to see the Seer you trusted.

 

Standing at the ladder that led to the Divination classroom, you watched your reflection in the silver rungs. You looked so sad. When you finally tore your gaze away, you started up the ladder and through the trapdoor. It hit you the moment you were inside; the sickly, sweet smell overwhelmed you immediately. There were dragon's dens less suffocating than this. The sweltering heat of the fire was the next thing you noticed. It perplexed you why anyone would need a room to be this stifling.

 

You were looking about the room and its contents when you turned towards the entrance and was startled by a woman with very large glasses. The woman was thin under her several layers of clothing and jewelry and spoke in a misty voice. “I knew you would be coming, my dear. What is it I can help you with? A reading perhaps?” You were having reservations, but kept an open mind. “Yes, I was hoping you'd have time for one.” Her smile took up nearly half her face after you spoke and she began herding you towards the table with a crystal ball in the center, babbling the entire way. 

 

She was still talking when you sat down. Apparently, she was very excited. You began to take in the appearance of the room once more when the sudden silence caught your attention. You looked back at the talkative Seer and saw her staring at you blankly. Then, without warning, her eyes rolled back in her head and a voice that was not hers spoke.

 

“Pain. So much pain. He will die and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Pain. Then nothing. You'll follow. You'll follow him in death and there will be no more pain. Doomed. You were doomed from the start. Doomed!”

 

Just as quickly as it happened, it stopped and she was back to normal, prattling on about the crystal ball being fickle and unclear. She looked up at you and squinted, “Is something wrong, my dear?” You blinked once.  “No . . . No, nothing's wrong. I was simply remembering when I was a student in this class. Unfortunately, I have to go. It was lovely seeing you. Goodbye, Professor.” You nearly sprinted out of there and down the ladder. You could hear Sybill shouting after you. There's was no way you were going to stop. 

 

By the time you were closing the door to your quarters, you were out of breath and visibly shaking. You wanted to believe the prophecy wasn't real, that it was made up like the rest of her prophecies were, but you knew the real deal when you saw it. This didn't mean you wanted to think about it; the prophecy had been a terrifying one. It was one you certainly hoped would never come true.

 

In an attempt to get your mind off your end-of-the-world prophecy, you finally broke down and decided to clean the wardrobe. There was no way you could put it off any longer, not with the way it smelled. You shooed Blue and Robin out and got to work. It only took roughly a half hour to clean. It wouldn't have taken that long if Robin wasn't trying to save his trash. However, that was the easy part. Now, it was time for the hard part. The pungent smell of the wardrobe lingered on your magical companions. They needed to be bathed. Blue was easy. She dove right into the tub filled with warm, soapy water the moment you conjured it. She loved splashing the water, so you let her play a bit before cleaning her up. Once you were done, she laid on your bed and went straight to sleep. Warm water always made her sleepy. 

 

This, however, meant it was Robin's turn. He absolutely hated baths; he hated them with his entire being. The very second you looked at him, he took off. He alternated between running and hiding while you chased after him. That's when the worst possible thing happened. In a mad dash to get out of reach of your approaching grasp, Robin jumped and landed on a sleeping Blue, startling her awake and causing the occamy to grow to the size of the room. You were smashed against the wall without your wand anywhere nearby. You couldn't tell Blue to shrink; you couldn't even breath. Lucky for you, Robin had managed to squeeze through Blue's enormous body on the way to her head where he somehow convinced her to shrink back down. You came crashing to the ground once she did, gasping for breathe. Air never tasted so sweet. You should've been mad at Robin, but he knew what he'd done and rectified it by retrieving your wand before righting the tub and promptly sitting inside. It seemed you almost being crushed to death had quilled his fiery hate for baths. You gave a huff and filled the tub once more. 

 

It didn't take long to clean your cranky niffler and soon he was laying with Blue on your bed. Unfortunately, this brought to your attention the complete mess that was your room. If it wasn't soaking wet, it was turned over or shattered. You, yourself, was a complete mess. It was a good thing most of the cleaning and repairs only took a flick of the wrist.

 

By the time your head hit the pillow, you were exhausted, but you found it hard to sleep. You looked at Blue and Robin sleeping at the end of the bed; you had decided to let them spend the night outside the wardrobe and in bed with you. It reminded you of the days before Hogwarts when they were always by your side. A deep ache settled in your chest. This wasn't caused by your longing for the old days, but by seeing the scar on Blue’s belly when she shifted in her sleep. She got it when a poacher stole her silver eggs. Her grief lasted longer than the wound. It got to the point you had to force her to eat. Without your interference, the grief would've taken her. 

 

Blue wasn't the only one who had suffered. Robin was missing a toe on his front left paw. A wizard used the severing charm on him when he was caught stealing food. He was starved, but the food wasn't for himself; he had stolen it for other hungry creatures. His selflessness was something you admired. However, the wizard didn't. He would've killed Robin if you hadn't found him first.

 

You had saved many creatures during your travels, but there was something about these two that was different. They were the only ones you took with you. Maybe it was because their pasts resembled yours in a way. Maybe they just had a spark you couldn't let die. No matter the reason, they were your traveling companions and you couldn't ask for better ones. 

 

You gazed at them while reliving your memories with them in your head. The sight of their sleeping forms brought a smile to your face as you slowly drifted off. You fell asleep thinking about the two bravest creatures you knew.

 

_You tried to see where you were, but there was only darkness. When you turned your head once more, a figure stood before you. You could barely make out who. “Severus?” He didn't move, didn't speak. You reached your hand out to him. “Severus, what's going on?” He raised his wand at you and you instantly recoiled. “What are you doing?” He flicked his wrist and spoke in a voice that felt like death, "Avada-”  
“Severus?!”  
“Kedavra.”  
“NOOO!”  
Before the flash of green light overtook your sight, the figure that was Severus Snape had changed into Lord Voldemort and his high-pitched laughter filled the air. ___


	14. Chapter 14: Bad at Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dolores Umbridge wants you gone and your willing to comply.

You bolted upright. The terror of your nightmare lingering. It had seemed so real and it wasn't over. Your eyes saw only darkness. Your ears picked up no sounds. You couldn't even feel the blankets in your clenched fingers. The world was as dark as your nightmare. You tried hard to stay calm, hoping it would pass. Slowly, it did. The first thing to come back was your sight. The darkness faded away to Blue and Robin's worried faces. Next was the sound of your pounding heart and heavy breathing. Finally, you could feel the chill in the air and the sensation of all the things your skin touched. You didn't know what any of it could mean, especially after that dream, but it wasn't something you had the luxury to dwell on. The day was starting without you.

 

The knots forming in your stomach from a lingering sense of dread made it increasingly difficult to find anything appetizing much less actually eat anything. The rock cakes Hagrid gave you upon arriving at his hut weren't going to help settle your stomach any. Hagrid tried getting you to talk about what was bothering you, but nothing seemed to work. You just weren't in the mood to talk. Before long, your Care of Magical Creatures class came into view. 

 

Class was fairly normal considering Ron Weasley's older brother, Charlie, had sent a baby Peruvian Vipertooth dragon per your request. It was the smallest and fastest dragon in the Wizarding World. You made Hagrid promise not to let it out of its cage considering it liked the taste of human. The last thing you needed was an excuse for the new High Inquisitor to fire your one good friend. 

 

After class had finished, you gathered up your restless, magical companions and headed for some lakeside peace and quiet. You needed some time to think and the destructive duo needed to release some energy. Blue decided to play with the giant squid whose tentacles breached the surface to investigate your presence. You were watching her when flecks of dirt pelted you; Robin was digging up loose change lost by students. It gave your mind some ease watching them if only for a little while.

 

At some point, you had fallen asleep laying in the grass. You didn't know what woke you up until two large eyes hovered over your face. “Hello, Blue.” She tilted her head to the side then took your robes in her beak and yanked. “Okay, I'm getting up. No need to pull.” As you got to your feet, you heard a commotion coming from the castle entrance. Blue continued to yank your robes towards the sound. You took off in the direction of the entrance. Something didn't feel right.

 

“Dumbledore, may I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree #23, as enacted by the Minister-”  
“You have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to banish them from the grounds - That power remains with the headmaster.”  
“For now.”  
You arrived just in time to hear the end of the whole ordeal. That toad was firing teachers and trying to get them removed from school grounds. How cruel can she be? You got your answer when she turned and noticed you standing there. “She leaves as well.” Albus turned around, an unpleasant frown on his face. She ignored his expression and continued speaking, “She is neither a teacher nor a student. Miss Y/L/N has no business being here.” The false sweetness in her voice made you feel ill. “She is Hagrid's assistant and a guest at Hogwarts. I won't have you-”  
“It's okay.”  
All eyes were on you, but it didn't matter. You had made a decision. “I'll leave Hogwarts without any fuss. I mean, this has been the longest I've stayed somewhere in a long time. It's probably time I move on and help someone else.” Everyone had a shocked expression on their face expect the Headmaster, who had a look of understanding, and the High Inquisitor, who had a smug look of victory. Turning back the way you came, you set off to collect your currently unsupervised creatures. A concerned Hagrid followed you the entire way to your quarters. He kept trying to convince you to stay. When that didn't work, he tried convincing you to stay for one more night.

 

You agreed to a farewell feast you wouldn't attend. Standing at the entrance to Hogwarts, you gave it one last look. The carriage was packed with your things and Robin and Blue were sleeping soundly in their bewitched traveling bag. You gave a glance at the thestral waiting to take you to Hogsmeade station. They were beautiful, but the sight of them always reminded you of why you could see them. The faces of creatures and people you'd lost flashed in your mind and in a blink, they were gone.

 

You decided one more look at the castle wouldn't hurt. Except it had changed since your last look, a figure stood in the doorway. He clearly knew you'd never attend the feast and would instead leave without hearing anyone's sorrowful goodbyes because Severus Snape stood there watching you with an unreadable expression. Even if you knew what to say, which you didn't, it didn't matter. Your mouth had gone dry the moment you saw him. Then just as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared, retreating back into Hogwarts. You weren't sure if your eyes had played a trick on you or not, but for the briefest second, it looked like he had inclined his head ever so slightly as if saying goodbye. You climbed into the carriage and never looked back.


	15. Chapter 15: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're back to your life outside of Hogwarts. So, what happens when you receive a letter calling you back and one pushing you away?

It was obvious by the letter in your hand Hagrid was angry with you. You didn't blame him. You would've been angry, too. His handwriting was always questionable but even more so when he was angry. You had a hard time making out most of the letter. From what you could read, Hagrid had taken it upon himself to inform you how dreary Hogwarts and its students had become in your absence. This, of course, excelled Slytherin House students. You sent your apology letter with Blue in hopes of quelling his displeasure.

 

It didn't take long for Hagrid to forgive you. In fact, Blue's delivery seemed to be enough. Apparently, Hagrid had wanted to send some time with her to study occamys. They were one of the magical creatures he hadn't had the pleasure of being around, yet. The two of you exchanged letters often. You told him stories of the creatures you came into contact with and the places you visited. He, in return, told you what went on at Hogwarts while you were gone. It seems Umbridge was practically taking over the whole school. Hermione even wrote you. Her letter was nearly three scrolls long. You had a feeling it would've been longer if Harry and Ron hadn't wrote their greetings and well wishes at the end. You learned far more details from her letter than any of Hagrid's. Details like the secret Defense Against the Dark Arts classes taught by Harry brought to light by the vile toad. It was hard to believe Hogwarts had a new headmaster.

 

It wasn't until the new school year began that a surprising letter made an appearance. Albus Dumbledore was offering you back your position as Hagrid's assistant. You read about his return to headmaster, but never expected this. It was true your heart grew heavy from longing at the thought of returning to the castle, but you couldn't bring yourself to do so. A fact well known to Hagrid, though he proceeded in attempting to change your mind. You had worked up the courage to return once, to face him again. You weren't sure you could do it twice. Severus couldn't even be bothered to respond to your congratulatory letter about his new teaching position. You clearly weren't on his mind any longer.

 

Adventures involving dragon nest relocation, a bored sphinx who changed her riddle answers, and treaty negotiations between centaurs and local wizards brought you well into the month of June. It was the night of the full moon and you were asked to keep an eye on some rowdy adolescent werewolves. They were particularly vicious in this stage of life. You were busy mixing potions for the villagers when an owl flew into your room and dropped a letter on your desk. It was another letter from Albus.

 

_Dear Miss Y/L/N,_

_On the first of July, I would like to see you in my office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for a serious and private discussion. Arrangements will be made at Hogsmeade for your transport onto school grounds. I look forward to your arrival._

_Sincerely,_  
_Hogwarts_   _Headmaster_  
_Albus Dumbledore_

 

This letter was not like the first you'd received from the headmaster. This wasn't a request; it was a command. If you were being commanded to return, something very serious and possibly dangerous was happening at Hogwarts. The question was what.

 

You were so deep in thought the sudden appearance of a second letter startled you. The sound of the owl's wings grew faint as it flew off into the night. The handwriting seemed familiar, but you couldn't quite place it. You opened the envelope and pulled the letter out. Its words shook and angered you.

 

_Do not return to Hogwarts or else suffer an extraordinarily painful demise._

 

It was the wording that jogged your memory. You couldn't believe he would do such a thing as send you threats. Severus Snape had not once attempted to speak to you since you'd left and now this. It infuriated you to no end. Why would he even care if you returned? Was he trying to take this, too? It wouldn't work. You wouldn't be frightened away. Your mind was made up. He already had your heart. You wouldn't let him have this as well.


	16. Chapter 16: The Ugly Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your world comes crashing to the ground, but that's not all that crashes.

Ten days had passed since you received letters from Albus and Severus. You'd filled the time with travel and troublesome, magical creatures. Even though you didn't need to be at Hogwarts until the next day, you wanted to arrive early. Hogwarts felt like a distance memory you needed to get reacquainted with.

 

It was late evening when you finally had a chance to pack. You would've liked to have been packed and ready, but you had been attending a farewell feast. You decided it was best to actually attend this one considering the hurt feelings from the last one you skipped. Plus, the villagers were quite intimidating. 

 

The sleeping draught Robin and Blue ingested was finally taking affect. You placed them careful into their travelling case which you placed in your trunk. This was the best way for them to travel. It was also the only way to travel with them and not have to constantly cast reparo on various objects. Your things and sleepy companions were all packed away; it was time to go. You took out your wand and disapparated.

 

You apparated just outside the school grounds. Apparating was restricted on school grounds, so you would be walking from here on out. “Locomotor trunk!” Your trunk rose into the air and a silvery line connected it to your wand. It slowly dawned on you as you walked; Albus knew you were the type to show up early, so why hadn't there been a carriage waiting? You were confusing by this, but it wasn't very helpful at the moment. You had quite a bit of walking to do.

 

It was well into the night when you arrived outside the castle. You didn't mind this; you enjoyed the serene atmosphere the dark provided. You found yourself staring up at the cloudy sky. The moon seeped through every space not filled with inky clouds determined to cast any under them into shadow. A flash of white soaring in the air caught your eye. At first glance, it appeared to be Harry Potter's owl, Hedwig, but its movement was strange for an owl. The longer you stared the quicker you came to realize it was not an owl plunging through the air towards the ground. It was a long, white beard chasing after the man you'd come to see. Albus Dumbledore was falling to his death.

 

Your body acted without thought and surged forward. You ran as fast as your legs would carry you, but it would do no good. There was no way you could know your actions were in vain. He would be dead long before hitting the ground. You had gone only a short distance before the sound of his body hitting the ground echoed through the air. All you could think, could hope, was there might still be a chance to save him.

 

A commotion behind you divided your attention. A large group and a child ran from the castle. You quickly recognized Harry Potter as the child. This could only mean trouble, but Albus needed help. You were tore between the two, but did what you thought your old headmaster would want. You skidded to a stop, turned on your heels, and ran for the fleeing group. Hagrid's hut went up in flames while someone's malicous laughter carried itself to you. Magic flew through the air between Harry and one of the adults. You drew closer as Harry was knocked to the ground by a spell. You recognized Bellatrix Lestrange as the one who cast the spell and became aware they were Death Eaters. Death Eaters killed Dumbledore.

 

By the time you caught up, only Harry and one Death Eater remained. Shock shot through you like a spell as a single name fell from your lips. “Severus?”

 

Severus looked at you and his face softened ever so slightly; it was so slight that you took no notice. “It was him!” Shouted Harry, “He killed Dumbledore! “ You looked down at Harry and back at Severus, letting the words sink in. “That's not true," you whispered, "Say it isn't true.” Severus' face gave nothing away when he spoke, “I did as I was told.” It felt like your world was going dark. “Don't lie to me, Severus. This isn't you. I know you.” A steady anger could be felt in the space between you and him, even Harry felt it. Severus' voice quivered with it. 

 

“Know me? You don't know me! How could you possibly know me?! Certainly not from our childhood where you watched the torment I went through from a safe distance. You never even tried to help! You've never been more than a bystander to other people's pain. You don't know me. And I'm glad to be free of your unfavorable company.”

 

His glare was like fangs sinking into your skin while his words dripped poison in your veins. Your body grew numb from it. Tears caressed your cheeks as they flowed freely from your eyes. You couldn't see the hurt in his eyes nor did you know the venomous voice he used to poison your heart was breaking his in the process. Severus went to turn away when the ragged drawing of your breath stopped him. Things may have been different if Harry hadn't been there, but you would never know. Severus raised his wand. “Avada-”  
Flashes of your dream swam in your head. “Severus, don't…”  
“Kedavra!”  
A green light burst from the tip of his wand and came tearing through the air towards you. Severus was gone before the spell struck.


	17. Chapter 17: Lonely but Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've fallen into a black abyss. Will you ever get out?

Albus Dumbledore was dead. Severus Snape was a Death Eater. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley,  and Hermione Granger had disappeared. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry fell under a dark cloud. And the wizarding world was shaken to its core.

 

Nobody knew how you were alive, but that didn't mean you wished you were. The world had been a beautiful lie, now it was an ugly truth. The night that proved fatal to your heart replayed in your mind over and over again. It was a neverending nightmare.

 

You couldn't recall how you'd ended up in your old room with all your things unpacked. You didn't know what went on outside your own grief. The most you knew was someone kept bringing sandwiches and an odd tasting drink that made you sleep for hours. The world existed as a darkened blur around you.

 

The first few days after that night, you couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep. Everything was worse when you closed your eyes, so you didn't. You stared out the window and hoped the pain would stop. So far, it hadn't. You ignored anyone and anything that came into your room until one day a cup was brought to your lips and you drank its contents as if in a trance. It didn't take long after the last drop hit your tongue for you to fall into your first sleep in what felt like forever. 

 

When you woke, the very colors around you seemed to have dulled. You raised your head to find a very concerned niffler and occamy at the foot of your bed. You laid your head back down and stared at the ceiling when you heard a rustling sound followed by the clinking of claws on ceramic. Next thing you knew, the sandwich that was on the plate was now being promptly shoved in your face. Robin was determined to see you eat and so you did, for him and for Blue. This started what would be the mealtime routine between you and Robin. 

 

The days blended in until you could no longer tell them apart. So when Hagrid and Minerva came to you to express their concern about your reluctance to leave your bed, you didn't know how close the new school year was. It took everything you had to leave your room. It took even more to remain composed when the new headmaster arrived.

 

How could this be? How could they let him be headmaster? He was a Death Eater and a murder, so why him? Severus Snape glided through the corridors of Hogwarts like a Dementor through Azkaban. His robes billowed out behind him and his hair flowed elegantly against his neck. He was beautiful and deadly: a terrifying combination.

 

You stood mesmerized in his wake. Your heart ached with betrayal and swelled with love at the sight of him, but it was nothing compared to the anger that boiled your blood. Tears threatened to leave trails of misery down your cheeks when you heard him speak. “Miss Y/L/N, as the new headmaster of Hogwarts, I'm ordering you to leave this castle at once. Fail to comply and be banished from school grounds permanently.” Severus continued on his way without another word, not even a glance back.

 

You were frozen where you stood. You were losing everything and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Minerva's voice drifted down the corridor followed by Hagrid's. They were trying to convince Severus to let you stay; it was to no avail. You were leaving Hogwarts for a third time, but this time, you planned to stay close.


	18. Chapter 18: The Sun Sets on Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts' darkest night is on the horizon. Who will survive?

The Forest was dark and dangerous. Many creatures lurked in its shadows: acromantulas, centaurs, even werewolves. The moment someone stepped inside they were watched by those who dwelled within. You may not see them, but they're there, watching your every move. The Forest was most of all forbidden for students and thus, the perfect place for a witch and her two magical companions to hide.

 

You never left school grounds. Instead, you simply travelled deep into the Forest and made camp. You were told to leave the castle, but not school grounds. It was a small loophole, but it was enough to keep you close to the teachers and students you felt a strong urge to protect.

 

The trouble with that plan was food. While Blue and Robin were satisfied with what the Forest provided, you had a hard time finding anything you enjoyed. Lucky for you and completely risky for him, Robin took notice of this and started nicking food from the kitchen in his visits to the castle. It was all wrapped now since the first time he brought you something, it smelled unappetizingly like his pouch.

 

Besides the theft of food, Robin snuck in and out of the castle to deliver messages. Neville Longbottom kept you informed about what went on inside Hogwarts and if it could be risked, so did Minerva. They were your only source of information. Hagrid's hut was closer to you and less risky, but you soon found out he was banned from being around the students and inside the castle, therefore, knew nothing that happened beyond his hut. That didn't stop you from sneaking to his hut and visiting him. You could tell he was lonely and going mad being left out like that; you would do anything to ease his mind, even if it might get you caught.

 

Blue proved to be far more restless than you. While Robin was running through the shadows of Hogwarts and you were doing what you could from the Forest, she was flying over the entire school grounds, looking for anything useful or suspicious. She had to dodge a few hungry thestrals, but determination to be helpful keeped her in the air. It was good to have eyes in the sky and feet on the ground, but you feared it would come at a great cost.

 

The three of you worked tirelessly for almost eight months. Conditions in the school were terrible, but Minerva insisted you remain outside the castle walls, that it was not time. You found yourself finishing a letter when the very air held an ominous feeling. There was the sound of shattering glass and a dark shape soaring through the air. It looked as if someone was fleeing. You started to your feet when the rumbling ground knocked you down. You watched as dozens of acromantulas came running pass. Some even tried to get to you, but the protection spells and enchantments kept them at bay until they gave up and left. Unfortunately, an old friend wasn't so lucky. It took only a few moments before the sounds of wood breaking and loud screams filled your ears. The acromantulas came running back the way they had come with a struggling Hagrid trapped in their grasp. You started after them in an effort to save your friend, but his pleading shouts stopped you in your track. “Save ‘em! Yeh ‘av teh save the students. They need yeh more than me. Go! Please, go!” It hurt your heart to leave him, but you would do as he said. You would try your best to save Hogwarts.

 

By the time you made it to the edge of the Forest, you could hear the marching of Hogwarts’ stone warriors. This alone meant something was very wrong. Unfortunately, it was occupied by a growing barrier encompassing the school. There was no way you'd be able to get inside the barrier before it was complete, not from where you stood. You were stuck with the agonizing knowledge that you couldn't do anything. You had to do something, though. Turning to Blue, you handed her the letter you'd finished and gave her instructions. “I need you to deliver this. You know who it's for. Be careful, Blue.” She responded with a soft chirp and took off into the sky on her mission. You started for the castle so you were close if the barrier fell when a dark blur ran passed you. “No, Robin. You need to say here. It's safer.” Robin looked disgruntled, but he stopped in his track. You nudged him with your foot towards the Forest before going on your way to an unknown danger.


	19. Chapter 19: The Battle Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone suffers in war.

You had barely made it halfway across the grounds when an onslaught of attacks broke the barrier. You wanted to keep going, but your body dropped to the ground from fear. Dealing with dangerous magical creatures was one thing, dangerous wizards was another. Every muscle in your body was gripped with terror; it felt like you were frozen. It took several precious seconds before you could convince your body to move. Seconds that would come at a cost.

 

It seemed like hours had passed before you finally made it inside the castle. You were met with a gut-wrenching sight. There was magic and debris flying everywhere. Students and teachers were fighting Death Eaters. The very castle around you was being blasted apart. You helped as much as you could, casting spells and defending students, but it didn't feel like enough. Nothing would ever be enough in a battle to the death. You were running to the aid of a trapped Ravenclaw when someone's stray spell hit your wand, blasting it out of your hand. The Ravenclaw took off when the Death Eater's attention fell on you. Now you were the one trapped.

 

A voice rang out in your head; it rang out in everyone's head. “You have fought valiantly, but in vain. I do not wish this. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a terrible waste. I therefore command my forces to retreat. In their absence, dispose of your dead with dignity.” Lord Voldemort's eerie, chill-inducing voice commanded. You felt the slightest relief until you noticed the Death Eater in front of you remained in place. He was still going to attack. You knew there was only one move left for you. It meant revealing a secret no other soul knew of, but it was worth it to save these children. Unfortunately, this hesitation was all your opponent needed. The Death Eater cast his spell too fast for you to react and it felt like it was all over. A blur flew past you and into the line of fire. The spell hit the blur and it crumpled to the ground. Robin lay dead at your feet. He defied your orders in order to protect you.

 

You were struck by a tidal wave of emotions: grief, pain, anger. It flowed through you until it was all you were. The longer you stared at your precious companion, the worse your state became. Your emotions had a way of persuading your magic into action and so, where once stood a witch whose soul was shattering now stood a lioness with one goal in mind. A powerful roar ripped through the air. All those who remained in the area were startled by the ground shaking sound. It was enough to make the murderous Death Eater drop his wand. You gave him no chance to retrieve it and used every muscle to pounce. Your paws hit him with massive force, sending him crashing to the ground. The sound of bones breaking filled your ears. The man had drawn his last breath. You spotted other Death Eaters sharing glances between them. A low, rumbling growl kept any who dared approach from doing so. Your emerald eyes fell upon Robin and a deep sadness stole your breath. You made your way towards his body and let out a heart-wrenching cry that turned into sobs as you became human again. You picked up his body and cradled it in your arms. You did as the rest of the survivors did and took your fallen companion to a room filling quickly with dead to lay him down for a neverending rest. 

 

You could feel the people around you, filling the room with the sound of grief and fear. It sounded so far away until one grieving voice drifted to you. Looking through the sea of people brought a terrible sight, a boy with flame red hair laid on the floor, his eyes closed forever. Fred Weasley was dead like so many others. His family stood around him, grieving. You wanted to go to them and offer some kind of comfort, but your heart ached far too much to give solace to anyone.

 

As the wounded were being tended to and those capable of continuing the fight regrouped, you sat beside Robin's body, stroking his fur. Your mind wouldn't rest; what ifs swarmed you like billiwigs. You didn't know how much time had passed when you found yourself being moved and handed food. The food remained untouched beside you; you found it impossible to have an appetite. Your thoughts continued their jumbled assault on your cracking sanity when a voice that was not your own silenced them. A voice that brought only death spoke to everyone for the last time. When the voice was gone, every witch and wizard that could walk started for Hogwarts’ entrance. Lord Voldemort was coming.


	20. Chapter 20: All Good Things Must Come to an End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With loss weighing heavy on your heart, can you survive any more?

Everyone made their way outside where they were met with Voldemort and his Death Eaters. The flow of the crowd pushed you towards the front. You couldn't stop yourself from searching the faces of your enemies for one person in particular. Hagrid was easily the first person you saw. He held a young boy who you knew to be Harry Potter in his arms. You had to wonder if anything would be different if you had saved Hagrid from the acromantulas.

 

Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were among the Dark Lord's army. You watched Draco join his mother when she called him over. It was clear Draco no longer cared much for his father, a man who looked like a shell of his former self. Lucius wasn't a kind man, but you couldn't help feeling saddened by the sight before you. When Voldemort starting speaking, your gaze wandered through the rest of his ranks for Severus, but he wasn't there.

 

Neville Longbottom stepped forward after Voldemort spoke. You hadn't been paying attention and had no idea what he said, but now he was laughing. Neville proceeded to give an inspiring speech to all of Hogwarts; it even inspired you. With what was left of you dwindling resolve, you marched your way to Neville's side and addressed Voldemort. “Where is Severus?” You were met with an unnerving smile followed by the worst possible news you could receive. “Dead. Severus is dead. He found himself in my way so I killed him.” Your knees buckled with the weight of your bottomless misery. An injured Neville struggled to keep you from collapsing further. Your heart felt like it had shattered inside you and every little piece was now cutting you open.

 

“You must be the witch Severus spoke of. I heard you're quite powerful. Join me. Or end up just like the man you love. Dead and discarded” His words burned through your veins like a wildfire. An overwhelming rage took over your body and sparked your magic into a frenzy; it coursed through you like electricity. The Dark Lord watched as your eyes turned catlike while your teeth elongated and your nails turned to claws. You sprang forward before the transformation into your animagus form was complete. “Crucio!” A white hot pain shot through you like lighting. You didn't want to give him the pleasure of hearing you scream, but it was impossible to stop the sound that ripped out of your throat and filled the air. You were vaguely aware of the Death Eaters laughing at your pain, but your excruciating agony numbed you to it. Then it stopped. Your body dropped to the ground with a loud thud; everything ached.

 

You weren't a warrior. You weren't made for battle or fighting. You weren't made to fight other people's wars. You were a protector. To magical creatures and young wizards and witches, to the helpless, you were a protector. That is what you were made for, what you were good at, and that's why you were here, laying on the ground in pain. You would die to protect the students and teachers who stood behind you. So, that's what you would do.

 

“Salazar Slytherin would be disgusted to know his heir isn't a pure-blood, but a whiny brat with a Muggle father.” You sneered. Voldemort's face twisted into one of absolute hatred. “Avada Kedavra!” The all too familiar green light struck you. You could feel it working; it was draining your life away. You grew colder with every passing second; you felt so tired. The last thing you saw before your eyes fluttered shut for the last time and the darkness overtook you was Harry tumbling out of Hagrid's arms and the battle for Hogwarts starting all over again.

 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way to the body of a woman whose death left a hole in their hearts. They stood together in solemn silence around the woman. If you spoke to Harry, he'd say it was all so surreal, like a dream you couldn't wake from. Ron would tell you the woman was daft, but brave, really brave. You could speak to Hermione, but her answers would be lost among her broken sobs.

 

The trio stared at her peaceful face. It looked just like she was sleeping. Hermione's quiet whimpering was the only sound any of the three dared to make. So, when the sound of flapping wings filled the air, the infamous trio looked up in surprise. A blue blur sped towards them nearly to fast to see. Something white fluttered to Ron's feet when Y/N's occamy dropped at her side. They watched as Blue wrapped herself around her master's body and let out shrieks of pain so loud your ears needed to be covered. It would take four wizards to remove a grieving Blue and Hagrid's strength to take her away. Unfortunately, even Hagrid couldn't save Blue from her grief. She died of a broken heart three days later.

 

Ron picked up what lay at his feet and found it to be a letter addressed to Severus Snape. He showed it to Harry and Hermione before he started to tear it open. Hermione sniffled before she spoke, “Don't open it, Ron. It's not yours.” “She has a point, Ron. Maybe you should leave it alone.” Harry told Ron. Their words fell on deaf ears as Ron pulled the letter from its envelope. They watched quietly as he read it. They were expecting him to read it out loud, but he didn't. When he finished the letter, his hand fell to his side, barely clutching the letter. Harry was the one to speak. “What does it say? Ron?” But Ron didn't reply, he wouldn't take his eyes, now wet with tears, off Y/N's face. Harry took the letter out of Ron's hand and read it to Hermione.

 

_My beloved Severus,_

_When did our world become this? When did we become this? I now know you're a Death Eater and yet, I find myself missing you all the same. I feel this war with the Dark Lord coming to an end and I fear it is likely I won't survive. This letter is in case I am right and we are robbed of the chance to speak again. I need you to know I love you. I have always loved you, my dearest Severus. The world could crash around us and I wouldn't care as long as you were by my side. I know you aren't fond of such sweet words, but I don't wish to die without these words reaching you. I needed you to know how I feel even if you don't feel the same. My hope is to see you again, but if not, live. Live for you, Severus, not for others. It's your life and you should live it free of monsters._

_With all the love I possess,  
Y/N_

__

Hermione's wails of sorrow was the only sound any of the trio made. “She...d-didn't know. S-she didn't k-know h-he was de...de…” Harry and Ron pulled Hermione towards them and wrapped her in their arms before she could finish. They wept together in an embrace of grief and heartache. This is where they remained until the rest of the surviving Weasleys came and took them into the warmth of their arms.

 

What the three of them didn't know was Professor McGonagall had been cleaning the Potions classroom when she came upon three things tucked away in Severus’ desk: your missing letter from the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, a letter from the same committee complying with Severus' request to have you excused from the execution, and an unsent letter addressed to you from Severus, himself.

__

_Y/N,_

_I love you._

_Severus_


	21. Epilogue: Death Is Where Lovers Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and your love are dead, but every witch and wizard knows death isn't the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, folks. The very last chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed it and loved this story as much as I did.

When you opened your eyes, you were standing in an unfamiliar room. It looked to you like a den; there was a crackling fire, shelves filled with books, and oddly enough, picture frames without pictures. You glanced around the room until you came to the fireplace that now had a young boy standing before it. “Where am I?” You questioned the boy. The boy didn't answer the question, but responded with his own. “Why do you love me?” You were taken aback. Your long silence prompted him to ask again. “Why do you love me?” You looked at the boy Severus once was and tried to come up with an answer. “Because… because I… Oh, Sev. There was never going to be anyone else.” It was true; your heart told you from the moment you saw him all those years ago that he was the only love for you.

 

A soft, low voice behind you grabbed your attention. “I thought I told you not to call me that.” When you turned your head, the Severus you knew before both your deaths now stood behind you. You went to look at his younger self, but found him gone. You turned around and faced the man Severus became. Unlike when you were faced with the boy and felt sorrow and longing for the innocence that was chipped away from him with age, the man made your heart swelled with love, but stung with betrayal and loss. Your feelings for Severus were just as complicated as always.

 

“Where is this, Severus? Why am I here?”  
“It's the house I wanted to live in with you.”  
“You… you tried to kill me!”  
“Calm down. I wasn't even aiming at you.”  
“What the hell does that mean?”  
“I aimed over your shoulder so the spell would miss. I couldn't blow my cover with Potter there. I would never harm you.”  
“But why? Why would you?” You could hear the uncertainty in your voice.  
You didn't have time to think. It just happened too fast. One moment you were staring at the man who caused you endless trouble and the next his lips were pressed against yours. They were soft and the kiss was sweet, but over far too soon. What Severus said next would change everything. “Because I love you.”  
You were overjoyed. This was what you wanted for so long. But you had to know.  
“Always?”  
Severus’ silence made you wonder if you'd pushed too far when he spoke. “And forever.”  
Your eyes brimmed with tears at the sound of such sweet words. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss you poured all your love into. He returned the kiss in kind and it grew more passionate by the second; you felt his arms wrap around your waist and pull you flush against him. Your fingers found themselves running through his long, greasy hair. If you looked, you swore there would be sparks of magic flying off the two of you.

 

Being here with him felt like home. You pulled away far enough to look into his obsidian black eyes. “I love you, too.” Severus brought his lips to yours again and you melted into each other as the start of your afterlife began.


End file.
